Delete the Ladder
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God puts the family in the swimming pool. Then he deletes the ladder. The Mommy and Daddy wave their rubbery arms back and forth; emergency thought bubbles bloom from their scalps. Green diamonds spin overhead, souring to gold as they wade desperately around the perimeter of the pool. They aren’t imaginative enough to hoist themselves out. The children drown in their swimsuits, shouting gibberish at the sky. They regenerate as ghosts and take over the house even though it’s past their bedtime, because they are free spirits and the Mommy and Daddy are still stuck in the pool.
Before the emergency, the Daddy had ordered pizza. The delivery man rings the doorbell and paces on the doorstep. No one answers. Four solid walls materialize around him. He urinates on the ground but does not drop the pizza box. He’s here on a job. The Grim Reaper glides to the edge of the pool, extending a long skeletal finger. God presses a few keys and makes the family a million dollars richer. The Mommy and Daddy celebrate as they drown, and the Reaper claims the Daddy, whose health stats are lower.
God places a new ladder in the swimming pool and the Mommy clambers out just in time, a red diamond churning atop her head. She can’t decide whether to grieve her family or celebrate her newfound wealth. The children’s ghosts float through their old bedroom, unable to pick up their own toys.
A door appears in one of the walls enclosing the Pizza Man. The Mommy enters, making panicked exclamations about the Reaper. The Pizza Man turns to the Mommy and observes that she is wearing a black bikini. The Mommy observes that the Pizza Man has pissed on the floor. Both get past these indiscretions without much difficulty and strike up a lively conversation about beaches and music. They seem to be getting along well, so God nudges them into a hug. Little plus signs skitter through the air, then dissolve.
God deletes the door.
The Daddy’s ghost senses the Mommy’s presence inside the walls but doesn’t pass through them even though he could. He hovers in front of the pool, the blue chlorine glow saturating his transparent body. The children’s ghosts watch through their bedroom window, the Mommy bubbling up in their thoughts. The Mommy and the Pizza Man are really going at it now. Her speech bubbles no longer portray death and drowning. The Pizza Man speaks of cocktail parties and pizza. Red diamonds spin ominously above their heads.
The Reaper approaches to claim his final dues. He lets out a cackle and the Daddy’s ghost calls out to his wife. The Reaper raises his hand, but God has another idea. He pauses the game and constructs another four walls around the Reaper. He purchases a flat screen television with the family’s fortune and places it beside the Reaper. God toggles back to live-mode and hits play. The Reaper’s hand lowers as he absorbs his new surroundings.
A Philadelphia native, Kira Homsher is currently an MFA candidate at Virginia Tech. She has won Phoebe Journal’s 2020 Nonfiction Contest and was short-listed for CRAFT’s Flash Fiction Contest. Her writing also appears or is forthcoming in SmokeLong Quarterly, DIAGRAM, Ghost City Review, and others. You can find her at kirahomsher.com.
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